Christians believe that a cosmic Jewish zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat an apple of discernment from a magical tree.

Read about Pastafarianism vs. Christianity at the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster website, or jump directly to the USA Today article.