Monday, May 26, 2008

Earthlink -- Apologizing for being Confused.

This is a peek into the joys of dealing with Earthlink.

About three weeks ago tried to upgrade my DSL speed from 1.5 Mbps to 3.0 and they disconnected my service. This was a disaster, as you can imagine. Finally, after hours of arguing with a whole group of people in India, finally the service was restored.

Now that my temper has calmed, I decided to try again. After all, shouldn't Earthlink be eager to get more money from me?

I tried their online chat first. This is how it went. Make sure to check the end of of this post to see how things turned out in the end.


I SPENT ABOUT 20 MINUTES CHATTING WITH VARIOUS AGENTS UNTIL THEY FINALLY HOOKED ME UP WITH THE "CORRECT" AGENT. I'M NOT GOING TO BORE YOU WITH THAT TEXT.

Please wait while I transfer the chat to the appropriate agent.
'Nikolas M' says: Thank you for contacting EarthLink LiveChat, how may I help you today?
Nikolas M: Hello, I see you've already been chatting. Please give me a moment so I can read the previous chat and pick up where you left off.

sam: Good morning Nikolas

sam: I will wait

Nikolas M: To check the higher speed availability, let me know complete address and phone number.
NEVER MIND THAT I'VE ALREADY GIVEN THIS INFORMATION THREE TIMES. I'VE RESIGNED MYSELF TO THIS TYPICAL HORROR OF CUSTOMER SUPPORT.

sam: ### STREET, CITY, STATE, ZIP

sam: (###) ###-####

Nikolas M: Give me a moment.

sam: I am thankful for your time and help. I will wait.

Nikolas M: Okay.

Nikolas M: The speed currently you have is the maximum speed available in your area.
THE FIRST LIE

sam: What you are saying contradicts what other agents have told me. I was offered 3Mbps and 6mbps both by a telephone agent and on the website. Kindly explain this inconsistency.

Nikolas M: 3 Mbps is available, if your phone provider is Covad.
TEN SECONDS AGO YOU TOLD ME THAT MY CURRENT SPEED -- 1.5 MBPS IS THE MAXIMUM SPEED!

sam: My phone provider is ATT. Why does the website offer 3Mbps and 6Mbps? Why did Earthlink offer 6Mbps specifically for me approximately 1 month ago?

Nikolas M: You will have to change the phone provider first, if you wish to go for 6 Mbps service.

sam: Which phone provider will allow me the highest speed?

Nikolas M: You need to have phone service through Covad.

sam: If I switch to Covad, is it guaranteed that I will be able to get 6Mbps?

Nikolas M: Yes, 6 Mbps is available if your phone provide
Nikolas M: Provider is covad*

sam: What would the price be of the 6Mbps DSL service?

Nikolas M: It will be $39.95 or 44.95 per month.
GREAT! I HAVE A SOLID PRICE NOW. WELL, TWO SOLID PRICES ANYWAY.

Nikolas M: We cannot provide the exact price now.
OH... I GUESS NOT.

sam: If I switch to Covad, will I be required to re-contact Earthlink?

Nikolas M: Yes, you need to contact, I suggest you to contact our installation department before switching the phone.
WHY? DON'T YOU WORK FOR EARTHLINK? ISN'T CONFIRMING STUFF YOU TELL MY YOUR JOB?

sam: Would be kind enough to transfer me and help me understand what I need to ask them?
Nikolas M: They can be reached at 888-847-4708 Mon - Fri 7:00 AM - Midnight EST Sat-Sun 8:00 AM - 10 PM EST.

Nikolas M: You can just inform them that you need DSL 6 Mbps service.

sam: very good. Many thanks.

Nikolas M: Which security service are you using?
OH NO! NOT AN UPSELL. GOD HELP ME!

sam: why do you ask?

Nikolas M: EarthLink is now providing Norton 360 service to its customers.
Nikolas M: Norton 360 provides all-in-one protection that keeps you, your family, your PC and your information secure. This comprehensive solution combines Symantec’s proven, industry-leading computer security and PC tune-up technologies with new automated backup and antiphising features, providing a full circle of protection all at just $6.95 per month.

sam: Got it already, thanks.
I ALREADY HAVE IT.

Nikolas M: I see that you do not have it through earthLink.
THAT'S TRUE, BUT I ALREADY HAVE IT.

Nikolas M: EarthLink is providing 30 days free trial and a CD to install.
WHY DO I NEED A 30 DAY FREE TRIAL OF SOMETHING I ALREADY HAVE?

sam: received a long-term virus scan as a gift
sam: 3 years
ARE YOU LISTENING? I ALREADY HAVE IT.

Nikolas M: Norton 360 is the updated version which takes care of your computer with latest threats.
Nikolas M: PC Security
Nikolas M: Transaction Security
Nikolas M: Backup and Restore
Nikolas M: PC Tuneup
Nikolas M: LiveUpdate
Nikolas M: Embedded Support
Nikolas M: Advanced Phishing and Spyware Protection
Nikolas M: Blocks Hackers and Unknown Threats

sam: Got it. A 3 year contract.
YOU CAN STOP SENDING ME INFO ABOUT WHAT I ALREADY HAVE... PLEASE.

Nikolas M: It has all above features in a single software.
A SINGLE SOFTWARE? DO YOU MEAN A SINGLE SOFTWARE PACKAGE?

Nikolas M: Okay
FINALLY!

Nikolas M: Is there anything else I can help you with?

sam: What life insurance company are you currently with?
WELL... SINCE HE TRIED TO SELL ME SOMETHING THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE PURPOSE OF MY CALL, IT ONLY SEEMED FAIR THAT I COULD DO THE SAME TO HIM, RIGHT?

Nikolas M: I do not have any insurance policy.

sam: Don't you think it would be prudent to provide your family with protection should you meet with an unexpected disease or you find yourself unable to work?

Nikolas M: Yes, you are right.
WHAT? HE'S BUYING MY BOGUS SALES PITCH?!

Nikolas M: I will discuss it with my family and take a decision.
Nikolas M: Which insurance company do you prefer?

sam: Tell me about your family situation -- do you have a spouse and/or children? I might be able to offer you a very good bargain.

Nikolas M: We can discuss about it later, as I am at work place now, can I have your phone number?

sam: Sure. Please call me at (###) ###-#### (my work number). I will happily offer you a deep discount since you've been so very helpful to me.
I QUICKLY GOOGLED A LIFE INSURANCE AGENT NEAR ME AND SEND HER PHONE NUMBER TO HIM

Nikolas M: Thank you.
Nikolas M: Have a great time.
A "GREAT TIME?" WTF?

Nikolas M: Thank you for using EarthLink LiveChat. If you would like a copy of this chat emailed to you, you may choose that option upon closing this window. In the survey that appears, the second to last question will ask if you would like this emailed...choose Yes. In the last box, enter your email address...the entire chat session will be automatically sent to you. Should you need any further assistance, please feel free to return to EarthLink LiveChat.
Chat InformationChat session has been ended by the agent.


So, as per Nikolas' instructions, I called the number. The first agent I spoke to apologized for Nickolas being confused -- it turns out that I CAN have 3 and 6 Mbps service without having to change phone companies. Yay!

After being put on hold for no reason that I could understand, I finally decided to strike while the iron was hot. I asked her to upgrade me now, before they changed their minds... again.

On hold again. Then a completely new voice comes on the line.

I explained to him that I had been transferred without any warning. Sure enough, no notes in my file. I had to explain the whole thing over again.

Guess what? He says I DO have to change phones to Covad. I asked him why the differing messages from different agents. He again apologized and said that the previous agent was "confused."

How much do you want to bet if I do go through all of the trouble of changing my phone service to Covad, Earthlink will again "apologize" for being "confused" and I'll still end up with 1.5 Mbps?

Argh!

To me "Apologizing for being confused" is just another way of saying "incompetent".

UPDATE:

Covad doesn't even offer land-lines.

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